Tweet from @affirmationboss: I'm wiser because of my mistakes, I'm happier because of my sad times, I'm stronger because of my hard times.

Tweet from @Inspire_Us: When you choose to forgive those who have hurt you, you take away their power.

It's the Little Things

It's been a long time, I know.  I've been busy.  I need to write more often!

One night a few weeks ago, my husband and I were talking about romantic gestures.  And I said something that he found interesting.  I said that I thought a small, unexpected and thoughtful gift was more special and romantic than flowers, chocolates or jewelry.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy flowers, chocolates and jewelry.  Especially if it's my favorite flowers because they're in bloom, some really good dark chocolate, or fun jewelry that suits my style.  But what I treasure are the small, thoughtful gifts that I get just because.


When my husband and I were dating, he gave me a couple mix CDs.  One was representative of the way he felt then; his life was hectic, he was living in a new city and had some personal stuff going on.  The other one kind of represented where he wanted things to go, both in his life and in our relationship.  He made them before we actually started dating, but didn't give them to me until after.  Those two CDs meant and still mean more to me than I can even express.  They gave me a window of sorts into his life and what he was feeling and experiencing.  Had he not already won my heart, he would have at my first listen.  To this day, those songs hold a special place in my heart and when I hear them on the radio, I turn it up!

I've received other gifts like that as well.  My dear friend Callie, who is like a little sister to me, gave me a wonderful collection of science fiction short stories.  It was one of her favorite books, and she gave it to me just because she thought I might like it.  And she was right.  I really enjoyed reading it, and I love rereading my favorite stories in it.


I could go on and on about all the little gifts I've received over the years and cherish, but I would go on all day. 

I'm gonna switch gears now, and talk about giving those kind of gifts.  I really enjoy bringing a friend something I know they'll really love.  That's as wonderful as giving them, if you ask me!  When a little something brightens someone's day, it brightens mine, too.  Seeing that friend or family member smile and say "thank you" makes me smile for them!  I think the gifts we give to people are also gifts we give ourselves.  Even a simple compliment to a stranger is also a gift to the giver.  Why not brighten somebody's day and make them smile?  I am sure I am not the only one that takes pleasure in giving those little gifts.  The payback of delivering a small present or compliment  is that my mood is lighter, I am happier after I make someone happier.

So today, give a small gift.  Send a note to a dear friend, just to say hello.  Find something (make, buy, whatever) for that special someone or your best friend.  Take someone to lunch or out for drinks after work.  Compliment a stranger.  Make someone's day.  In turn, you'll find that it makes your day, too.

My Name is Prairie, and I'm a Spoonie.

I feel terrible.  I've had a lot going on and haven't come to write anything in more than a month.  A month!  

I suffer from chronic pain.  As much as I try my best to maintain a positive attitude and stay in control of my pain, lately, my pain has been very severe and it's been a struggle to stay positive and optimistic.  I have fibromyalgia (FM).  I'm going to skip the long explanation about FM.  It's an illness that causes fatigue, sleep disturbances and widespread chronic pain.  If you're interested in learning more about it, please visit the National Fibromyalgia Association.

There are many "invisible" illnesses out there.  FM is just one of them.  A lot of people with FM, chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), ME (myalgic encephalomyelitis) lupus and other illnesses suffer in silence.  Getting an accurate diagnosis, and getting adequate and appropriate relief are often challenging tasks.  But these challenges aren't the reason for this post.  I'm writing about chronic pain and illness because it has an impact on the lives of it's sufferers.  Invisible illnesses are often hard for people without them to understand.  People will say things like "but you don't look sick," (more on that one in a moment), "it's all in your head," or "why can't you just snap out of it?"  Believe me.  If I could just snap out of it, I would!  When sympathy, understanding and support are what is needed most, not all chronic illness sufferers will have those needs met.  I feel very blessed to have a helpful, understanding, loving and supportive husband.  I'm also thankful for my friends who are always ready to send love and well-wishes when times are tough.

Around the time of my diagnosis, a friend of mine with lupus shared The Spoon Theory and the website But You Don't Look Sick with me.  While reading the Spoon Theory, I felt like I was reading something that I could have written myself.  It is a very accurate description of what life is like for me and a lot of others with chronic illnesses.  A lot of us refer to ourselves as "spoonies."  The analogy is so perfect, it just fits.  Sharing the Spoon Theory with family and friends has been beneficial to me.  It helps explain a lot of the things I experience, and (I hope) helps my friends and family further understand my illness.

There are a great number of support groups, message boards, resources and coping techniques available.  I want to urge anyone suffering from chronic illness to seek out the resources available.  The support of friends and family means a great deal, but being able to communicate with others in a similar position or situation is also very valuable.  It's a great way to learn how others manage their lives, a place to learn coping techniques, discuss treatment options and also a wonderful place to vent/whine/complain.  Who better to whine to than people who have been there?  

If you are living with chronic illness, know that support is out there.  Find a support group, local or web-based, to take part in.  Knowing you're not alone can go a long way when it comes to seeking relief.  When in need, lean on those who support you.  Don't be afraid to ask for help!

I'm not far into my journey of living with chronic pain.  I'm still seeking answers and adequate treatment.  But I trust my abilities, I have faith in my doctors, and I have found wonderful support by both my loved ones and support groups.

Here are some links to reference and support pages for those of us with an invisible illness and our loved ones.

About.com's Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome forum

Lupus Foundation of America

ME Association

But You Don't Look Sick facebook page

American Chronic Pain Association

CDC Chronic Fatigue Syndrome information 

CDC Fibromyalgia information 

CDC Lupus information 

CDC homepage 

If you're a chronic pain/invisible illness sufferer and want to share some links, please do so in the comments!  If you need support, or know someone who does, please peruse the links I've shared. 

"Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him." ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. -Mother Teresa

The State of Things

I had intended to write today's entry about poetry.  However, in light of recent events, I've decided it is more appropriate to write about what happened in Tucson yesterday.

The shooting was a horrible event that has left many hearts broken and lives shattered.  A judge was senselessly murdered, a Congresswoman lies in a hospital bed in critical condition, a nine year old girl was taken from this world too quickly, as were several others.  More than a handful of people were injured yesterday.  

Rather than restating all the facts, which you can find anywhere, I think it better to discuss things on a more intimate level.

I don't know if we'll ever really know Loughner's motivations.  From the information available, it seems he was a paranoid and deeply troubled man.  His delusions and actions have affected the lives of countless people.

 When I woke this morning, I read that Westboro Baptist Church is planning on picketing the funerals of the shooting victims.  As if there isn't enough heartache, cruel and heartless people are using the guise of religion and faith in an attempt to spread the sickness of their hate.  I'm disgusted.  From what I've seen through social networking sites, I am not the only one.

Today, I feel like my words are clumsy and awkward.  I am not as eloquent as I'd like to be in regards to this situation.  Although I feel verbally inelegant, I feel like it is important to write what I'm trying to communicate.

I don't have the words to adequately describe my thoughts and feelings on the events that occurred yesterday or the events (positive and negative) that have or will follow.  My heart aches for everyone who lost someone yesterday.  My heart aches for the rest of us, as I feel we've all lost something due to the shooting.

I feel that it is important to stop the spread of hate.  I believe the way to do this is to spread love.  Not just for those immediately affected by yesterday's violent events, but for and to everyone, today, tomorrow and always.  Sharing love is not just telling your friends and family how you feel, even the smallest things can create a spark that spreads like wildfire.  Smile at someone, give a compliment, hold the door for someone.  Not because they need you to; but because you want to. 

Protest the hate-mongering.  Share love.